Mail - From the Twilight Zone

via mail 8/2019

_______________________

First of all I want to thank Naomi bloom for printing this order, and if I was a butterfly I would land on her petals, cause a girlfriend in years past called me a social butterfly. I like the back page of your paper like stress counseling. But you are right plants have feelings. They know who loves and takes care of them because they love your co2. If a person has a genital heart the plant knows you are drama free and award you with the green thumb award, showering you with fantastic Naomi blooms! (not that!) anyway thanks the plants arrived safely. One more thing before I go I have an app on my windows phone called" love text" Saturday morning I opened it to send a birthday poem to a friend which happens to be a girl. The app ask me if I wanted to write a poem so I said yes. I chose the life category. I called it Lifes breath. So here it is ... Breath the first breath for the rest of your life! Will there be many or few? Black, white, yellow,or red takes in the same breath! But how will you use this lifes breath? For life or for death? For me I will choose life! I will choose you! Who I can see has a gentle heart. The air you breath in has a sweet smell in and even sweeter out, with no fire mixed in! I am thankful we met and I live you so! My sweet breathy lips! U R MY AIR ANGEL! This lady has my heart in her hand and for the first time in my life im not afraid.
B.D. via email 4/18/14

Do you people actually stand around talking about 'Hayes Stiffies' with a straight face? Preverts.
J.W.M via email 4.2011

To the owner of Plant Delights Nursery:
Just a brief note from an irate consumer who was out to spend money on these great pots of yours that promotes root growth- I found it highly annoying that your catalog had NOT A POT IN IT!!! I've returned you catalog to prove my point!!! And why am I so bent out of shape about this you ask? Because my business - God's Garden of Boerne Texas- is growing project sycamores that it will be offering to NASA for free when it returns to the moon to be back up life support and I'm striving to see that they've got solid root balls!!!
Have a great life!!
R.W.T. via letter 3/09

Dear Tony:
I'm sorry to say I will not be buying your book today Mr. Avent. I decided to get someone else's book that was a little more positive. I understand that you are just trying to get people to understand how difficult it can be to start a business but after reading only two pages of your book it was so negative and discouraging I put it back. I say this with great respect for you and know that you must have a sincere passion for what you do and you are trying to weed out the fly by night people. I just want a book that is full of good information as well as helping to feed the fire of enthusiasm. By the looks of your web site you are very successful and probably could care less what I think. I just thought you might like to know it is a little discouraging and I was hoping to be inspired by you.
N. D. Via email 5.2010

Dear Plant Delights:
I am writing to warn you that Carex oshimensis 'Evergold' nearly killed our cat. The tiny barbs on the leaf surface made it impossible for the cat to hack it up. The resulting blockage in his intestine made it impossible for him to eat. After a major operation to remove the leaf, he hovered near death for a week with a high fever, losing so much blood he needed two transfusions. We thought we were going to lose him. He was a stray our housemate who died of cancer last summer brought home as a tiny kitten. We cried to see her cat look just the way she did at the end, so thin, with such huge, haunted eyes. Then the vet discovered six inches of leaf packed in his nasal cavity. Once that was removed he began to heal.
The vet bill was $2,000. Many pet owners wouldn't or couldn't pay that much to save a cat. For those unlucky cats, ingesting this plant would be a death sentence, and the pet owners might never know what caused it. It's possible this plant has been killing cats for years.
Please stop selling this plant. You'll save cat lives, and human grief. I'll never get over the guilt of causing such suffering just for the sake of a pretty garden.
C.S. in Washington 3/08
Ed note: All carex have edges including species native to every state in the US.

Dear PDN:
I am a new subscriber to your magazine. I have accidentally thrown out several copies of your magazine because the cover looks like something other than a gardening catalog. I can't describe to you what it looks like, but it doesn't look like any other gardening catalog that I've ever seen and I've accidently thrown it out a number of times. I just wanted to just put this bug in your ear ... I think it's a clever cover, but it's hard to decipher you know, on first glance what this catalog is about, so I just wanted to put a bug in your ear. I'm not complaining. I think you guys have a great catalog and I love what you carry, but I just you you to know just kind of being on your side, I wanted to let you know that you might want to consider doing something that's a little more understanding when you first look at it, this catalog.. Okay.
M.H. location unknown...possibly Mars 7/08

Hi yawl:
Thanks for the verification.My addiction still ravages my brain. I have selcted more godies but will not add at this timw .My spouse has graciouly offered to bring this poor sufffering plantholic to your den of iniquity. We willbe bringing a relative, maybe I can pick her pocket while she is drooling over some plant Oh depravity! To whet her appette , would you please send a catalogue to my friend.
Your umble servant
J. M. prisoner #10534 via email 1/09

It's the global warming thing, dude. Only they have backwards. Last year we got four feet of snow instead of our 10 feet of winter rain in October and November. By December our balmy, tropical temperatures had returned. The surf was up in K-town (a.k.a "Bridge to Nowhere") all the way to Yakutat
Yakutat has recently risen up as the surfing capital of Alaska. Warm Pacific currents keep water temperatures in the area mild, although wetsuits are still a must for most of the year. Several surfers reside in the town year-round, while others are beginning to creep in from surrounding areas and the Lower 48.
Sarah Palin doesn't live in Southeast Alaska (a.k.a. the Banana belt of Alaska) . If she did, she would tell you that on a really clear day we can see Hawaii from the top of Deer Mountain. Our annual rain fall is around 12 feet, but the record breaker of 14 feet occurred in 1949. Now, this global warming thing is causing more snow than anyone can ever remember. Today, the snow has reacxhed the top of my livingroom windows, 5.5 feet from the ground. There is no denying it. Our zone valve must be stuck.
G.P. in Alaska 1/09

Dear Plant Delights:
I'm sorry, but I can't stop thinking and looking at all of your goodies. I wish I lived closer so that I could run my fingers through your plants. humma humma!
J. via email 3/07

Dear Plant Delights:
My hostas arrived this morning and I just finished planting them. Talk about gorgeous hunks of plant flesh! If your hostas were men, I wouldn't come out of the hosta garden until frostbite forced me back inside this fall!
Nice, heathy, BIG and gorgeous green! What more could a girl ask for??
I really appreciate the fact you also included plant markers! Next year I won't have to try and guess what their names are like I'm doing with some purchases I made last year from a different hosta seller.
Thanks a bunch! I look forward to buying more goodies in the future! Is there any way you could put me on your want list for Outhouse Delight? I have a perfect place for it where the guys "go" out back to empty their beer after they have partaken of the amber ale.
L. K via email 6/06

Dear Heronswood Customer:
This is to announce Heronswood's relocation from western Washington State to new headquarters at Fordhook Farm in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. In addition to 60 acres of space for research gardens here in southeastern PA, we have 50 acres of research and production in central PA in the eastern Appalachian Mountains, as well as another 30 acres on the southern tip of Delaware, a few miles from the Atlantic Ocean and the Maryland and Virginia borders. This excellent spread of growing and testing facilities over 3 hardiness zones (5,6 and 7) will enable us to upgrade our current offers, to breed new plants, and to select from the many that we collect around the world those best suited to your garden.
in size and diversity of locations, we shall be operating closer to our customers in the Northeastern and Mid-western US.These broad mid-Atlantic production sites are situated perfectly to serve our customers in the Southeast as well. Finally, we shall continue to serve with no change except the display gardens and Open Days in Kingston our many valued customers in the Pacific Northwest, as well as our friends on the west coast and in the mountain states. herbaceous perennials more than we have done previously. Under the direction of Grace Romero, who has over 25 years experience breeding and collecting plants, the Heronswood team will vigorously develop new lines of hellebore as well as many other perennial classes. Plant exploration will be done by a constellation of collectors located in the US, Central America and the UK. Indeed, we are expanding and invigorating all phases of Heronswood's horticultural and botanical operations. we shall both produce a new edition of the Heronswood Catalog this fall (2006), featuring over 300 fully illustrated and unique cultivars, and launch an enhanced website that will have over 500 all in excellent supply and top condition. In addition, we shall improve the shipping of our plants by increasing their size, as well as improving the containers in which we will enclose them for the upcoming 2007 season.
we shall be open to the public at Heronswood's new location at Fordhook Farm in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, on a seasonal bi-monthly basis, or about 5 Open House weekends per year, beginning fall of 2006. In due time, we shall be open by appointment as well. Already, we have tested Heronswood plants here for 5 years. Grace Romero created a large, beautiful full sun experimental perennial garden, dubbed 'The Happiness Garden'. The season for our Open House tours of the six acres of gardens will be slightly different from Washington State due to the changes in the climate. We shall offer garden tours and plant sales, as well as lectures and seminars. Check back here later this summer for upcoming dates. We look forward to serving you.
Happy Gardening.
G. Ball in PA, 7/5/06

Dear Plant Delighs:
For me gardening is about BEAUTY, it is about a BREAK form the world and all associated human POLITICS. You may wonder where my sense of humor is, but I don't find the covers of your catalog attractive, clever, or amusing. The subject of contemporary world events is exactly what I enjoy taking a break from. I find them reactionary, simplistic, and presumptive that your customers are interested in or share the cartoonist's worldview. I do not.
I have had mostly first rate products and service from from your nursery. In the past, when troubled by your covers, I've told myself to not be so fragile, buck-up, stretch a little, and remember your right to freedom of speech and expression. I could always tear the cover off, and keep the catalog at the bottom of the pile, diving down there only when I needed something you folks alone have. My attempt not to throw the plants out with the bath water.
I guess turning 50 unleashed something. I find myself less willing to tolerate things I don't like, and plainly disagree with. And the inclusion of politics, especially with a simplistic worldview, in a medium about gardening is no longer something I want in my garden, or my home. Please unsubscribe us. Thanks.
Best,
J.H. via email 2/07

Aloha,
Do you carry any natural healing type of plantings? In creating a web based marketing cooperative, I look for that yin/yang balance in everything and when I saw your web site, I got that feeling. Thanks for everything. Aloha blessings,
S. B. via email 5/06

Goodevning:
Dear diane and plantdelight
Perhaps you forget me but I not I am a customer of you .with palms and lovely plants My name is g. t. I live in greece I writte this letter to tell you the succesfull with plants and palms All are healthy and grow up fast, only… First time sabal luisiana minor seems to dry and was stady But now it is the winner one. it grows up fast..
I experince that the pass in life of luisianna minor include Very srtrege waither Strong wind realy crazy and rain fall with gallons of watter A crazy waither it was my last plant Finnaly become the gold winner it grow up after the terrible waither strong
My opinion is that your plants is in a high quality to very high quality I m glad that I buy from you And I like to rebuy again later
Sweet kisses and warm sense from g. t. in Greece via email 6/06

Hi:
I received my order today,everything look wonderful,going to put it all in the ground right now...after I read the planting instructions...see I am smarter than I look...smile...my only concern though is I lent my catalog out and didnt get another one with my order and I am experiencing extreme anxiaty(so I cant spell..spell check couldnt find it either)...please help and ship new catalog,I am at your mercy,hoping to survive long enough to receive it,fading fast
Thanks
T.T. via email

Dear Tony:
1. Your knees are ugly. 2. You cannot draw. 3. I recommend that you get out of the centerfold posing business.
W. C. in MI 1/06

Dear Plant Delight:
There are those of us who love dogs and forgive them when they dig up that rare or expensive plant in our backyard, but who know that other people would not be as forgiving. Parents tolerate their crying child a lot better than the person at the next table. However, the statement in your brochure that "Fido can do his business in his own yard." reflects a short-sighted attitude. Fido leaves his yard for many reasons other than defecation. Almost every yard is too small for Fido; he needs more exercise, more running room, more stimulation. He helps humans get the exercise they need by taking them along with him. There's a wonderful series on National Geographic TV right now called the Dog Whisperer. The star (Cesar Milan) is able to trace a great many dog behavioral problems back to their having too much pent up energy and not enough guidance.
I'm not saying that you should encourage people to bring dogs to your establishment, just that you shouldn't be encouraging people to confine dogs to small spaces (yards = cages) anymore than you would encourage people to regularly grow trees in pots. They may survive that way, but it's not their natural or best situation.
B. N. 2/06


Help!
Ordered your catalog a few weeks ago. I have now made 120 trips to the mail box, but alas, have returned empty each time. Oh, the pain is unbearable.
Please check and find out where it is. Life has lost all meaning. I must have it so the sun will shine again.
R.L. in FL 2/06

Dear Plant Delights:
Can I plant a fern out side and after a harsh Midwest winter would there be problems for it to bloom again?
L. via email 4/05

Dear Plant Delights:
This time europe organazied from great britain Feedex is also british company I do not know why all proplems hapent now! I feell shade because I lose the plants But I do not feel shade because I loose th monay I sacrifice them to the lost souls i will buy again on new year when austria is organized europe things Movie Time I am person that extraterestorie activities are a nature aly subject We was 6 5 in usa and I the 5 are death now only I exist until the end of generation the last
G. T. in Greece 9/05

Dear Plant Delights:
Hello, thank you for reading this. I read about your Hosta Plantaginea or Autumn Lily in a magazine. I would like to know if I could order a plant with its roots so I could replant it in my yard. Or Could I order the seeds like you specify in the magazine. Thank you very much for the information. I live in Reno. I did call this morning to ask but 3 nurseries have no idea what I am talking about. Please help.
J.B. in NV 6/01

Dear Plant People,
You were absolutely correct!!! 'Out House Delight' is the ugliest hosta in existence!!! (I do believe it is probably the ugliest PLANT in existence.) I ordered it (2003) because of the name, which brought back many memories from my childhood (some pleasant-some unpleasant.) I really did not believe your description of it. I thought you must be just joking. But, NO, you were not joking. I'm sorry that I wasted my hard-earned money. Next year I think I will rip it out.
Sincerely, B.B. in Minnesota 9/04

To: Plant Delights:
You seem to denigrate Clinton and his "women" in comments about Kniphofias and other things. Bush is on idiot and has led us down a primrose path to a endless war in Iraq. I see now honorable way out. But terrorism and the threat of terriorism is getting Bush the bump he needed. Even my doctor says that Bush will cheat to win if he has to (just like Florida last time). I have four draft age nephews and the war in Iraq is a endless morass, I'd rather not see them take refuge in Canada or Europe (My sisters one Dem other Rep, will ship them out if necessary). We unseated a non-religious muslim (Saddam, the butcher) and if we leave the Shiites and their Iranian allies will take power and take vengence on the minorities (Christian, Sunni Muslim and Kurd) and we have created an excellent venue for the USA haters to attack us and the average Iraqui peon to be cought in the crossfire. I hate Islam. I am a caucasian Buddhist and hate violence and Islam has foreceable conveted the Buddhists of Afghaistan, Pakistan and Bengladesh (you neck or you penis, which do we cut?) so there is no love for Islam here. I am as well a citizen of the world. I see no gain in war in Iraq execpt for the oil companies. Keep politics out of the catalog and your statements. I'd rather have Clinton geting oral sex from some JAP than getting fu..... (economically) by Duibya (George W. Bush).
Perhaps you take exception to the foibles of all our leaders. I'm really not happy with Bush and view the Clinton years as a time of peace and prosperity, unlike now. This fight about "Whitewater" and the JAP blowjob were "weapons of mass distraction" as is the war in Iraq. The real issues to most Americans are pretty basic bread and butter. We have a shrinking middle class, both he and she work and still they are not getting ahead, excessive immigration (cheap docile labor), a North Korean leader Kim Il Sung that is a meglomaniac with nukes (that mushroom cloud in NK, it was a atmospheric blast that set off a forest fire on the anniversary of NK's "independence") that could treaten the west coast if his missile technology gets much better but already may be, huge national debt and in a few years the boomers will start to retire and need medicare, medicade and social security. I see much greater issues at home. Yes oil is important, but Saddam (may he burn in the deepest pit in hell) was essentially defanged after Desert Storm. I'm from a small town in extreme northern Michigan. The place is dependent on Social Security, tourists and some agriculture and forestry. Rural poverty is as bad as many parts of Appalachia. My parents go to Canada to buy their drugs and many go there for treatment as it is so much cheaper even if you have to pay out of your own pocket. I went to Canada to get lasik at 1/3 the price charged here in California ($3K). Some folks are (my mom for instance) "uninsurable" for a period or forever due to "pre-existing" conditions like heart trouble, diabetes and a history of breast cancer. I see things in Canada as more fair to the common folk. If they had a climate like Australia, I'd move tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I love this country, California has been very good to me, but I see needless agression, corporate cheating, homeless people, uninsured people, civility breaking down and a million problems that are due to lack of self respect and respect for others and their (or community) property. Perhaps these problems are systemic but it would be good to work toward a safe, clean and prosperous America not just more money and power for The Rich. I'd like to see our leaders work toward a more fair America. As yet corportations are not paying their fair share nor playing fair with their stockholders. These excessive corporate salaries and special stocks dilute the shares of the holders of common stock and reduce the incomes of those shareholders. After Enron I suspect many firms of doing just the same thing but perhaps not to such an extreme. Yet, United Airlines employees from pilots to mechanics will see their pensions reduced and the taxpayer will pick up the tab. Geesh! What next? I'd bet we'll get four more years of Bush and by 2008 the government will be broke, they will raise taxes and fees on the middle class (the poor don't have it and the rich are immune), to top it off we will have to not only care and educate our children but take care of mom too once Social Security is more or less bankrupt or the benefits are reduced drastically to balance the budget, which is more or less a fiction anyway. Only time will tell but I'm paying off my debts and stockpiling cash as I fear that if this nation doesn't clean up its act we will become another Argentina and suffer as they do. All we need is a run on the US$ and boom, our prosperity is over.
B.B. in California 9/04

Dear Plant Delights:
You people are seducers! We have no beer, no food, the children are naked, but I must have these plants! I have resisted your catalogs for the whole year and then temptation took over.
M. R. 2/24/05

Dear Plant Delights:
My fiancee has asked me to research and plan how to redo the landscaping around her house. Would you please send a copy of your catalog to: Name Withheld, Death Row, etc.
M. R. in Ct.

Get a hold of it guy.
Where do you come off thinking you know anything about growing plants and tress, in The White Rock Area of Dallas, Texas? We have Gumbo dirt on top of white rock, the only thing that lives are the white folks that duck the bullets from Ferguson Road Apts. I have lived here since 1962, I have a pond, my fish; know how to duck when the gunfire goes off. Too bad our chief of police lives in Plano.
S.F. in Texas 1/03

Dear Plant Delights:
My name is (withheld) and my order number is 47918. I received my order on Friday and I am impressed with the great shape the plants were in and how LARGE they are, especially my Alocasia. I have named him Arnold and I am quite fond of him already. He did scare my cats when I took him out of the box, must be his size. I will look forward to ordering from you again, you have a great business.
P.W. on 5/01

Dear Tony:
I was in need of cheering up and your catalog did it...now Fairweather's issue has arrived so I am all excited. I was so upset at Heronswood's sale to Burpee that I came down with the worst migraine in 20 years. Would have felt better had he just closed shop, period. Burpee is not noted for generous sized plants, at any cost, plus not that good to begin with, regardless of their reputation...like Wayside. Have you seen John Scheepers latest bulb catalog? His selection of Amaryllis (I hate Hippeastrum as it sounds like a hippo with a rectal problem)...needless to say I ordered one of each. Sorry I blabbed so long. Hope your year has been a great one.
B.V. in IL 8/21/01

Dear Plant Delights,
Gazing through your catalog has so aroused within us such an overpowering passion that the only conceivable solution would be for you to totally surrender those lovely pulsating perennials over to our every honorable intention, so that we may release this burning fusion into a luminous onslaught of everlasting ecstasy.
D. H. in NY 11/01

Dear Plant Delights:
If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human, I need your help! My entire life and health have been altered and messed with. I have suffered tremendously and am now dying! The type of time travel which I think is most suited to my situation is having my consciousness transferred to my younger self using either the carbon copy replica method, or brain snapshot device. Please explain your method and how safe it is. I am in great danger and need this immediately. If you are in possession of the said technology please send an email to me.
I.T. via email

Dear Plant Delights:
Of Gods and Goddesses, Demi-Gods, and Demi-Goddesses of rare, exotic, strange, ugly, stinky and beautiful flora, I contend I am not worthy to grow an Amorphophallus gigas. However, having such profound "luck" with other deformed penis plants, much to my wife's revulsion, I implore you to place me on a waiting like for a tuber of petite size. As a man of modest means, I will go without sustenance and work part time at a Quick Mart to raise the required remuneration.
P.H. in Texas

Dear Tony:
I recently visited PDN with my garden club. I was the one with the two small children who landed on the news that night) and was impressed with your garden series, "stupid garden art." truly inspirational.
From one fellow stupid artist to another i have a tip which has amused me for years: Barbie heads when decapitated from their useless anorexic bodies fit perfectly on the ends of number 2 pencils and can thus (when the pencil is sharpened) can be stuck in the soil. the soil can be sand, loam or clay and need not be amended with organic matter, so it can be enjoyed by garden enthusiasts and black-thumbs alike. I hope you find this tip useful.
Sincerely, R. B. in Carborro, NC


Hello,
I am interested in a plant called HOSTA. .I was wondring if you curently have that plant available and also if there are any catalogs with the plants etc. that you sell.
S.G. in California

As I sit perusing your latest catalog, I'm faced with the stark realization that I need help - as in PA help. That's right. PLANTS ANONYMOUS. I'm talking all 12 steps.
My first clue? The hand begins to tremble as I pluck the catalog from the otherwise non-descript junk mail. I immediately plot to turn the clocks forward so that my family will go to bed at what they think is normal time, rendering the entire evening mine to scour and savor the new edition. Next comes hand stretches to prevent cramping during double box checking. I then spend the next several hours in the PLANT ZONE. As I near the end of the zone, I'm forced to undertake the daunting task of deciding whether to whittle down the list or devise a really creative plant financing scenario.
Yeah, Betty Ford needs a new wing at the center

Dear Sir:
We have been assigned to do a small project on Heena. Can u please provide us the scientific or plant name of the Heena Plant? It's a plant that is used for temporary Tatoo, widely used in country, India to decorate the bride's hand and feet and also used as a hair conditioner.
M.A. via email 5/13/00

I'm really enjoying the rohdea that I purchased from you last year... they certainly are providing bright spots on these cold days. I even salvaged a few seeds from the birds and have recently put them into some soil.
A woman visited me and complained that an idea of an herb, "Rohdea japonica," kept appearing in her mind, and she couldn't think about anything else at all no matter how she tried to stop thinking about it. While she was awake, Rohdea japonica occupied her mind. Judging only by what she said, her symptoms looked strange. But if we turn our attention to the cause, they were not essentially different from anthropophobia and nosophobia. She was in a troubled family situation. When her friend visited her, she gave her friend some advice about curing a health problem with Rohdea japonica. After talking about it, she began to worry that her advice wasn't absolutely correct, that she didn't know enough about the herb. She felt ashamed about the subject. After that, whenever she remembered Rohdea japonica, she felt upset. So she decided that she had better not think about it and tried to repress it whenever it occurred to her. In short, she disliked the upset feeling and tried not to think of the herb. But actually the idea "Rohdea japonica" reminds her of that event and makes her upset. It is natural and could happen to anyone who has experienced such an event. Normal people know that such a thing sometimes happens and forget it soon. However, neurotic people can't forget any upset feeling at all and force themselves to try to get rid of it. They are adversely affected by their obsession. When crossing a river it is easy to swim with the current, but if we swim against the current we feel the water's resistance strongly. This symptom is like that experience.
C. H in Tennessee via T. K. 2/2/01

I need to build a polite green fence because my not quite finished new home is already getting a new neighbor to the south. About 12 feet from our house. Irritating. I know Wisconsin is not the best place for this plan, but here goes. I am serious, so go ahead and laugh if you have to. Four bamboos 20-35 ft. tall on the south lot line. In front of them three Royal Standard Hostas in between. In front of them, three Alocasia Macrorrhizos, with two more Royal Standard Hostas in between, in front of all this, two Alocasia Portodoras, and across the front of the whole thing, five torchlight hostas to trim the edge, spaced evenly. My husband and I need privacy in our garden for obvious reasons. If you think I am out of my mind for trying this in Wisconsin let me know. If not, I need to start planning the soil prep, etc to make this work. Please e-mail me with your thoughts on this. I will need to order the black bamboo from Lousiana Nursery, as you have none. Or do you? Let me know. Our house will be done next month. Our landscaping will be done in the spring. I need to know if I can order and pay for my stuff now and have it delivered in the spring.
R.R. in Wisconsin

Dear Plant Delights Nusery,
My name is (name witheld) and I am definatly what you would call a plant lover. Recently I finished adding a greenhouse onto the back of my house in order to satisfy my love for plant life. Since the addition, I have been thinking a lot about what I think would be the ultimate plant/human relationship. I figure if anyone could help me it would be you. I am looking for a plant, maybe a type of vine, that is able to attach itself and grow on an actual human body and maybe create a type a symbiosis. Do you know anyone who has ever accomplished this? If so, I would like to get in touch with him or her right away. If not I would like to try and be the first. Please, it you have any suggestions or comments write me back as soon as possible. Thank you.
- J.P. via email

"I sent you this e-mail on November 4. I haven't heard from you, so I am sending you another e- mail. I am requesting a red, long sleeved red Liberty print blouse in a size 12. Thank you very much."
-L.S. via email